"My Poetic Story"

I've said I need counseling, a therapist, professional aid.

But if I had the opportunity to go would I behave?

I have become claustrophobic with thoughts circulating in my head.

I needed to release them so I decided to skip professional help and get my pen

and pad instead.

My therapeutic release my gift from God, that gives me peace.

Praying once I finish these rhymes these negative thoughts will cease.

The thought of writing this poem has contemplated my mind a million times. I

even worried about being judged by people after they read these lines....

God give strength to write it all to the end...Where do I start? I guess where

it all begin...

Once I realized I was different than you, I gathered so much hostility.

The price of being born with a different ability.

There are things I always wanted to do but never did because of lack of

capability which makes me insecure.

I'm so use to pain till where the sickness feels like a cure...

You would think after thirty one years I would be able to accept the hand I was

dealt...

Everybody wants me to confide in them ... But nobody will Grasp the pain that I

feel and felt.

There are people in my life that say their close to me but in actuality I'm not

close to them.

I will always be there for her and him... But, whose there for me? I often

wonder if I die tomorrow would anybody in my family feel guilty.

Not causing confusion or stepping on toes, just putting my thoughts in poetry.

My biggest problem to date is the three A's...

Accept. Accepting. And Accepted.

I have to Accept this is my life, and my situations won't go away.

I Have to be more Accepting of others regardless of there shady ways.

I have to accept being accepted, knowing that everybody won't leave some are

willing to stay.

I'm so use to the closest ones going astray.

At this point in life all I have is my grandparents and she's telling me daily I

won't be here much longer.

Fighting back tears this is real life shit, but what don't kill you make you

stronger.

Giving up, Suicide, yes I've wanted to let go...

All my life people have told me I'm the strongest person they know.

Out of a seven day week period five days I'm in pain, I front because I don't

want nobody to worry.

So the thought of death isn't all that scary.

My smile, my post, has everybody fooled but me. For a second I thought by

writing this poem I'd gain some clarity.

I've been told Ive helped others with my life, my breakdowns, my breakthroughs

and my pain,

If That Be True I Guess My Life Isn't In Vain...

I'm so tired, physically, emotionally, and mentally the pain seems to forever

exist...

When I Pray To God Happiness and Peace are on the top of my list.

Nobody knows that I have four pending surgeries that will eventually take place.

I'm only writing this poem today by God's saving grace.

As a child Going through so much I always remained a happy little girl.

As a grown woman it's hard and I've isolated myself from the world.

My mind seldom remembers a convo with my mom and I asked her why did God make me

like this, I longed for an explanation.

She looked sad tears rolled down her eyes, and she replied your one of his

special creations.

Only God Knows How Much I Miss Her... Her absence has caused my life to have a

blur ...

I endure more than your mind or mine can understand.

But this is me. My Life. My Struggles My Hand.

Lately I've had a traumatic fear and its waking up and my Osteogenesis has taken

my ability to hear.

So much depression, so much disappointment. Maybe I should make this therapist

appointment.

This is it, I wait, smile, pray, write Just remain Tiffany. the "One And Only"

alive another day trying to turn another test into a testimony.

I must be of good cheer, and live without fear....

So I say Tiffany, you have no control over what goes and what comes.

Whatever God starts in your life will never be left undone.

*Poetic Tiffany*