"Poetically Thinking"

Analyzing my life and it seems so mean ...

I lost my mom at the early age of seventeen, I lost kj at 31, I still got my siblings but I'm feeling like the only one. 

There are days I'm surrounding in fear, my life is so loud but yet I still can't hear. 

Doctors saying I need surgery..

Yet, I question God asking why is this happening to me. 

Even in the midst of the storm I thank God for my special family. 

I always intercede with God on others behalf, and yet my life stills feel like an epic fail

I'm just trying to get to Heaven, but it feels like I'm stuck in hell...

People say you don't look like what you through. 

Nobody seems to understand, the cover is all put together but the book is a different view. 

I have dreams and I'm trying to channel new endeavors 

But in the back of my mind I hear my grandma saying Tiff I'm not gone be here forever. 

Depression strikes and I'm lost without a clue she's all I got lord if you take her take me too. 

I have a fear with new people I always push them away. 

Everyone I love seems to pass or go astray. 

Some people won't even grasp these lyrics, because my pain I never show. I'm not tripping, as long as God know. 

I have Physical scars that tell stories about all my horrific ordeals 

But my invisible scars are the ones that define me, and take the longest to heal. 

I have so much to say, yet I bottle it all inside. 

This poem doesn't even come close. 

To all the pain I try to hide. 

So everyday I smile and say get it together Tiffany, as I wash away these million tears I've cried. 

Forever crying inside, the odds have been against me from the very start. 

Don't know how many more band aids I have to cover this broken heart. 

My trials has me drained, I'm lacking energy. 

They say, “Sadness is only temporary.”

A right now blessing is so necessary

I’m in pieces, lord I need to be fixed

God please grant me a miracle in your holy bag of tricks. 

Copyright© 2014

Poetic Tiffany Poet